America, we need to have a little chat. It’s pretty popular to dog the United States these days, but on Memorial Day, are you just going to sit back and let a bunch of Eurotrash talk shit on your country? Hell no. In between celebrating the Fourth of July in that most American of ways, by getting drunk and eating grilled meats, take a moment to remember just what it is you’re celebrating: those who made America great. And you best believe your grandpa didn’t pistol whip Hitler just so you could sit around and apologize for being American. You owe it to him to celebrate these reasons why America is still number one and the goddamn best. Anything else would be unpatriotic. America! Fuck yeah! The Moon Yeah, we’re bringing out the big guns early here. Quick question, rest of the world: is your country’s flag on the moon? Ours is. Reigning World War Champs 2-0, baby. 3-0 if you count the Cold War, and hey, why not? To quote a great American hero, “When it comes cra...